Thank You, Mum

Over the years, my mother has taught me and my siblings a lot about life, money and responsibility. She would send us to the local shops to buy milk, bread or any small items that were missing at home. We were supposed to be able to calculate the cost and tell her the expected balance (if any), before we went out on said errand. A roundabout way of asking us if we had enough money for the shopping – a simple, yet effective lesson about budgeting and tracking our spending.

I later made an addendum to her budgeting lesson when I had my own child. By building fun into my budgets; I found creative ways to save on essentials like rent, transport, groceries, and health, while taking care of my wants and accounting for the odd treat here and there – a nice bag, pretty blouse, a salon visit, fun outings or entertainment. What’s the point in living if you can’t enjoy life? While my mother wasn’t wholly on-board with this in the beginning, she did come to see the wisdom of adding fun to a budget; it kept me from impulse buying or making outlandish splurges so, a win is a win.

Mum would also let us accompany her when she went shopping, so we could learn how much things cost uptown and downtown, how to stretch our shillings while getting the most out of our money, and how to bargain. We were there as beba beba / kanyama – her luggage-carriers. Anytime we’d ask her for money, she’d always say, “Cut your coat to suit your cloth” – a reminder to live within our means – this was her way of telling us “no”. If, she was feeling particularly generous, she’d give us half (or less than half) of what we’d asked for, to the amusement of no one. Needless to say, it took a while for most of these particular lessons to sink-in.

Funnily enough, her advice came in handy in my side hustles later in life, when I was selling school books and essentials to my neighbours, and jewellery and handbags to my co-workers. I was skilled at bargain hunting – buying quality items at low prices, and protecting my profit margins while still leaving room for customers to bargain – so they always felt like they’d won every time they purchased something from me.

She helped me open my first savings account, one that paid high interest and allowed limited withdrawals (once a month) – any other withdrawals incurred high penalties. She knew her daughter would blow-through her money otherwise. And when I had my baby, she encouraged me to build a confidence fund that empowered me to live life on my terms, knowing that I’d have a safety net for life’s many curveballs. Without giving you the run-down on the details of my personal life, let me just say that creating this fund helped me start my life over and rebuild; it gave me space to make the choices that were right for me and my child, without the tinge of desperation.

My mother has taught me a great deal about a great many things, and I will always be grateful to her for all the lessons and the love – even the tough love. I can honestly say, I am who I am today, because of her. So, thank you Mum!

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Feel free to share any anecdotes and shoutouts to your mothers in the comments, celebrate your mum today.

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