Men, Money and Mental Health

When money’s tight, borrowing feels like the only solution available, especially if the situation is dire. Mobile money loans alerts, those money lender flyers, and even the banks entice you to get a quick easy loan to keep you afloat. Hopeful that all will be well and fortune will favour you, or that the clouds will part and manna fall from heaven, you’re optimistic that the money will come, and you’ll be able to clear your debt but, this isn’t always possible.

You’re going about your day, when a friend calls insisting on meeting you in-person with some big news. Since she isn’t usually prone to hysterics, you’re curious and even a little anxious. She arrives holding a newspaper, and immediately brings your attention to a particular section. Under the listings of assets for sale, is your house. This is what happened to a friend of mine.

Her husband took out a loan against their home, but failed to repay it in time because his investments had fallen through. Ashamed, defeated, and drowning in deep debt, he kept this information a secret from his wife – hoping he could fix things. This silence almost cost them their home. Financial stress or failure can be crushing for anyone, especially when someone is convinced that they must carry this burden alone. Fortunately for my friend and her husband, they put their heads together and managed to stop the sale. They were able to restructure that loan, and define an affordable payment plan that helped them to keep their house.

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness month, a time to recognise the quiet struggles many men face. They’re often pushed to, “be a man”  – the provider, always quiet and stoic – enduring all manner of hardship and pain without complaint. The expectation is that they should always project strength, stamina, and resilience, and should confidently be able to navigate life’s storms regardless of what’s thrown their way. An impossible standard for anyone to meet.

Although men are no longer the sole breadwinners of most households these days, the pressure to provide remains deeply internalized. When men are unable to meet these self-imposed or societal expectations, shame often takes hold, and secrecy frequently follows. As such, men are more likely to commit financial infidelity by: hiding debts and expensive purchases, or making critical financial decisions without their partner’s knowledge. These feelings of shame often leave men convinced that they’re alone, this causes them to become uncommunicative, combative, defensive, withdrawn, or to self-isolate.

Let’s create a safe space for men to discuss their struggles, particularly the money troubles that they may be facing. While this isn't a magical fix for every scenario, it is said that a problem shared is a problem halved. Your troubles or worries feel less overwhelming, and are much easier to manage or solve, when you share them with someone you trust, instead of going it alone.


How can you get the men in your life to open up about money problems? The Money Diaries has developed the Sente-Sana game. A simple, fun, and engaging way to help you break the ice in these sensitive money conversations – give it go, and make your order here.

If you're interested in watching full video essays of this and other topics I've discussed here, visit and subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Let's build your future, together.

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